Monday, March 13, 2006

Pearls before whine

For those of you who don't know me very well -- I'm funny. I'm not being cocky or deluded; it's just plain fact. Water is wet, the sun is bright, Paris Hilton is braindead and RedLefty is funny, you just can't argue with these things. There's Jerry Seinfeld, George Carlin, and then there's me. But clearly I'm more humble than those other two comedic giants.

Unfortunately, part of the job of parenting entails that your kids will never fully appreciate your humor, no matter how ingenious it is. Toddlers, especially, won't understand any type of joke beyond basic bathroom or pun humor. They're kinda like rednecks that way (I grew up with rednecks, so it doesn't count as prejudice, right?).

In the past few days, I've been giving zinger after zinger to Samantha but she just doesn't get it. So I'm recording them here for posterity, in the hopes that one day she'll realize just how funny her daddy really is.

Me: Samantha, are you naked and ready for your bath?
Samantha: Yep, I'm naked and naked!!
Me: Naked & Naked? Sounds like a nudist law firm.
Samantha: (Total silence. Blank stare. Tumbleweeds...)

Samantha: THAT'S the way you do it!
Me: Money for nothing and your chicks for free.
Samantha: ("Daddy's crazy" look on her face. No response.)

Bonus observation of the week

I've seen two vehicles this week that have a large Nike swoosh symbol on the middle of the back windshield... what's up with that? Last time I checked, Nike wasn't making cars or trucks. This new trend of inappropriate placement of company logos begs for a name -- I'm calling it cross-brandination.

Time to logoff now... I'm going to sit in my Pantene chair and watch my Black & Decker television. Maybe later I'll go to the fridge and get a nice cold glass of Xerox.


FishrCutB8 said...

I've noticed cross-brandination, too!!! For the record, you do not drink a glass of Xerox; you drink a glass of water, "brought to you by the people at Xerox, providing solutions for today's businesses."

Redlefty said...

Thanks for the correction -- I'd hate to get it wrong and be sued for libel and brand damage.

This just springs up a host of other cross-brandination ideas... I may need to blog again on this!

hardrox said...

Oh man RL, you had me laughing out loud on those. My son just turned 5 and he's starting to catch more and more of my jokes. Too bad I only have another year before I starts rolling his eyes at me....just like his mom does. ;-D