The mouths of babes

We had a fantastic Memorial Day weekend, with my Kansas-dwelling parents visiting from mid-day Friday to Monday night. Church on Sunday included a powerful and relevant look at the service our armed forces provide, and the rest of the weekend was full of cherished family moments.

I think the biggest treat for my parents was seeing how Jack, their 11-month-old grandson, is really growing up and developing his own irresistible personality. But not to be outdone, 3-year-old Samantha put on quite a show as well.

And here continues the semi-regular practice of documenting the interesting craziness that is spoken from the lips of my toddler daughter:
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"At night... when I wake up... I pick out the boogeys."

"I saw a pink squirrel yesterday! She was hiding in the pink bushes!"

"Daddy, I have a secret for you (she leans close and whispers)... golf is open at the mall!" (One of our favorite daddy-daughter dates is playing glow-in-the-dark miniature golf at a nearby mall. Unfortunately our usual location shut down, but since then we've found another.)

"I go swimming at the pool and wear my green gargles (goggles) so my eyes don't burn."

"Wow, Daddy! That's uh-MAY-zing!" (I don't even remember what I said or did. But it must have ruled.)

"Anthony got in trouble at school. So he played with Christian. Then he didn't take a nap, and made noises, but he said it was OK so he hit me." (Your guess is as good as mine)

"That's a stinky poot!"

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Samantha has also been on somewhat of a Strawberry Shortcake kick lately, since she has a DVD and a book of the character. What I didn't know, though, was that because of Miss Shortcake my whole family would receive new Shortcake names.

My wife Jamie is "Crepe Susette". Sweet and melodious, perfectly fitting.

My father-in-law is "Pancake". Hearty and multi-layered, again a fitting name.

My mother-in-law is "Angelcake". You can probably feel the sugar rush just from reading this.

What was my name? Daddy's name, the guy who takes out the monsters from the closet and opens the pickle jar? The guy who lifts weights, has a manly goatee and is a world-class flatulist (see "stinky poot" quote above)? My name was... wait for it... "Miss Brittney".

As you can imagine, after being called Miss Brittney for a few hours I had to make a clean break with that name. With much deliberation over what name could be both masculine and baking-related, it finally dawned on me. Inspired by the great classic movie "Top Secret", I am now known as "Chocolate Mousse". Awww yeah.