What I looked for in a wife

I never really dated in high school, for a variety of reasons. The main reason is that I didn't ask anybody out. I wasn't the coolest guy in school, and although I was an athlete, I didn't play for any school teams, so I missed out on the whole "groupie" angle.

Had my first date in college before school even started. Met a girl in the registration line the day I moved into the dorm, and we ended up as a couple for our entire freshman year. She wasn't really a good person, and frankly had some pretty major problems, but I was a rookie in relationships and learned a lot of good lessons.

I came back my sophomore year dedicated to having fun. Lots of dates, no serious relationships, and the freedom to do whatever I wanted, with whomever I wanted, every weekend. That lasted until the first week of school when I met Jamie.

It dawned on me that I had been building up a profile of what I was looking for in a wife, even though it was a mostly subconscious process. I'm not one of those people who makes an actual list of desired traits in a partner, but we all have our preferences. It took my entire freshman year in a bad relationship to even begin to formulate what I actually did want in a girl.

So here's what I was looking for. Yes, most of it is cliched, but it's true:

• She had to be funny. On her own terms, not just able to laugh at my jokes.
• She had to be a strong personality, with confidence and fire and no ability to let the status quo rule. I wanted someone who could challenge me and surprise me for decades to come.
• I prefered a brunette. Something about dark-haired girls has always been attractive to me. Maybe it's a built-in genetic force of differentiation, to balance out my fair-haired and fair-skinned genes.
• She had to have clasically beautiful features. The kind of girl who looks great without makeup, and breathtaking with it. A girl who could put on a ballcap and still turn heads.
• She had to have life in her eyes and a great smile. You know what I mean by "life in her eyes". You've seen people who have it and don't have it.

That's pretty much the list. It's funny, because on a physical level, I couldn't even think of many women who fit my idea of beauty. Hollywood loves its blondes, and whenever a brunette was given a strong personality in film or TV, she was usually bitchy.

There was one girl I remember, the lead singer of a cheesy 80s band. Here she is in their big hit, "Breakout". Great smile, the kind that makes it look like that's the natural state of her face. A pretty face, but approachable and kind. That's what I wanted to see across the pillow every morning:

I think I ended up doing pretty well on the physical level. :) And any of you who have met Jamie know that she isn't lacking in the "strength of personality" department either, so I have no chance of getting bored on that front. I definitely married up.

Note: I fully admit that my "list" was probably shaped by Jamie, after I met her. Love works both ways.