Monday, September 24, 2007

Random rants

1. While watching football last night, NBC kept showing previews for Journeyman, their new show about a man who time travels to the past, with a chance to right the wrongs and change his future. Here's an idea -- how about he goes back to the late 1980s and makes it so that Quantum Leap never aired, making his show seem original?

2. My office building's parking garage has an entrance gate, where you have to scan a keycard to get into the garage. It's always there. Every day. And every day I'm in a line of three or four cars, waiting to get in. One at a time we go through. Then the driver in front of me realizes, "Oh! I need a card! When did that gate get installed?!!" They proceed to rummage through purse/glove compartment/pants until they find their keycard. Then roll down the window. Then open the door slightly and lean out because they're not parked close enough to the scanner. Then they finally get in.

Here's an idea. Tomorrow you'll need the keycard again. Put it somewhere you can find it. Have your window rolled down and ready. You just gained two minutes of productive office time. Thank you, drive through.

3. If you wanna smoke, then smoke. It's a free country. If you wanna dial cell phone numbers, go right ahead. I like my quick-dial shortcuts, but you can dial the whole number. Free country. But dialing and smoking at the same time while driving on the highway? I'd like to infringe on your rights for a minute.

Here's an idea. Get off the road before you kill somebody.

4. If you're in the YMCA locker room, I understand that at some point you're probably going to be naked. Changing into workout clothes, taking a shower, and so on. But you were naked when I arrived. You stayed naked while I put on workout clothes. You were still there, still naked, when I returned 35 minutes later. Still naked again when I got out of the shower. When I dressed and left, you were still there, still naked, and reading the paper, sitting on the only bench in the dressing area. You'd better be homeless.

Here's an idea. Read the paper in a public place, while clothed. Or in the YMCA locker room. While clothed. Even if it's just underwear.


MamaRose said...

Your 2nd one ALSO 'REALLY GETS ME', TOO--some folks just DON'T THINK AHEAD--EVER!!!!! Even when it's things they do EVERY DAY--that's ONE of the MANY reasons they're the 'FOLLOWERS' instead of the 'LEADERS'!!!!!!!!!

And, I do worry about some folks TRYING to drive their cars WITHOUT ANY HANDS touching their steering wheels--supposedly--and, I've even HEARD folks say--they are using their LEGS/KNEES--well, THAT'S NOT WHAT steering wheels/cars were MADE to be DRIVEN BY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
These folks who INSIST on doing things like this are a MENACE to us ALL on the road!!!!! Talk about UNsafe driving & I've NEVER seen one of them pulled over & ticketed!!!!!

And, my opinion about 'the Naked Guy' at the Y is that he WANTS to be SEEN naked/that way--only explanation, unless he verbalized another one!!!!! WATCH OUT FOR THOSE WEIRDOS!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOVE YA, Mom

~aj~ said...

Naked guy is cracking me up. Some people are just bizarre!!

James W said...

Dude I am right there with you on all of this!!

Bob Devlin said...

A remake of Quantum Leap? Awesome.

Bob Barbanes said...

Rarely do blog posts make me laugh out loud, and I love it when they do, as did this one. A well-crafted post, Michael. Very funny because, as Homer Simpson says, it's true.

Some people do like being (and being seen) naked. But they don't want to go to the time and trouble of finding and joining a nudist camp. So they lounge around places like locker rooms where "some" nudity is expected. But excessive nudity is just creepy.

Redlefty said...

Thanks guys, this was a fun one.

And the YMCA stories aren't over. Not even close.

Bob Barbanes said...

By the way, I *loved* Quantum Leap. Great show! Scott Bakula may not be DeNiro but he seems to find himself in great t.v. series (e.g. the terrific "Enterprise").

But even QL was a remake of sorts, wasn't it? I seem to recall a similar t.v. show from the '60s called The Time Tunnel (with James Darren!). And wasn't there even one in the early '80s called Voyagers!?

Yes, I watch too much television. I know. It's sad.